Biblical Marriage: Defining Marriage - Part 2
On Thursday night I began a series in response to the
fact that a week ago we had a significant if not an earth-shattering decision
handed down from the Supreme Court of the United States. This is not hyperbole.
If you read the secular media often the responses of Christians and
evangelicals especially, to the decision, we are cast in a very negative way.
We are just bigots! We are discriminating against "wonderful, lovely
people" and all we want to do is take away their rights and their dignity.
That could not be further from the truth; it does not reflect the biblical
position.
That may, unfortunately, reflect the views of some
Christians. There are always some Christians who don't quite get the message
that the gospel and our ambassadorship as believers is grounded upon the love
of God. It is grounded upon the principles of Jesus Christ's first coming when
He came not to judge but to offer salvation. That is still the focus of the
church; we offer salvation, the gospel of forgiveness of sin. And yet we have
some people who have a predilection towards legalism, towards an overemphasis
in a derogatory manner, and use it as a bludgeon against those who are involved
in sins that they do not understand and approve. The problem with that is if
you allow that kind of thinking to go on in your soul it eventually works
itself out in your life. That doesn't mean that we approve of the sins of
others, whatever they may be or however egregious they may be. What it does mean
is that that is not an issue with which we should concern ourselves; we are to
reflect the love of God for all. We love the sinner but we despise the sin. We
dare not let those get confused in our lives.
That is one of the reasons we have had such a hostile
reaction (I think there are others) and will experience an overreaction from
the homosexual community now that they have had this recognition from SCOTUS:
that same-sex marriage is legal. That will give them a platform from which they
will attempt to execute retaliatory vengeance upon Christians. I fear that over
the coming decades we are going to reap the consequences of that and we will
feel that hatred and that vindictiveness. Ultimately we know that that is a
hatred and vindictiveness towards God. It is God and His standards and their
righteousness that they have suppressed in their soul and that they are
reacting against. And we are going to live in an environment where we
experience personal ridicule, rejection and hostility from people with whom we
work and live, people who are part of our family, people that we love and care
for perhaps. They are going to revile and ridicule us, and as believers it is
incumbent upon us to be informed of what the Scripture teaches, to understand
the contemporary issues, that we may be able, as Peter says in 1 Peter 3:15, to
give an answer for the hope that is in us.
One of the things that discouraged me a little bit in
the last ten days is the discouragement that I hear from so many Christians. We
have hope, folks. Our hope is not grounded in the Supreme Court or any of its
rulings. Our hope isn't grounded on whether it is a Democrat or a Republican in
the White House, or in Congress. Our hope is built on the Word of God; it is
built on who Jesus Christ is and what He did on the cross. And so we can have
joy even in the midst of recognizing that things in the world are not going the
way we would like them to. Wake up! Guess what; it's the world! Whose system is
it? It is the Devil's system. What more can you expect from the world than that
they are going to follow the arrogance and the hostility toward God that the
Devil has manifested.
We get a great opportunity here to manifest the love
and the grace of God, the forgiveness of others who oppose us, just as the
disciples did and just as numerous Christians have throughout the centuries. We
get an opportunity to turn this whole discussion into an opportunity to help
people understand the love of God, the grace of God, and the work of Christ on
the cross. This gives us an opportunity to witness to others, and we need to
shape our thinking that way. Despair and discouragement, bitterness, hatred
towards these things that have happened is not part of the makeup of the
Christian who is walking by the Holy Spirit. We have to change the way we think
and react to these things. Certainly we recognize that this is a sad decision,
but this is a new reality. Nothing like this in the history of the United
States has ever taken place, and it has taken place over a period of just a
very short time—a radical shift in the thinking of the people. We need to
recognize that this is the way that things are and the new world in which we
live.
One of the things I am doing as we look at this
Independence Day special about marriage and freedom in America is talk about
the purpose of marriage, and I am going to define that a little more. Because
the more I study this, the more my thinking is being impacted by the fact that
this is not always as much a matter of understanding the SCOTUS
decision and the advocacy of same-sex marriage as it is for believers to
understand what biblical marriage is all about. So often even Christians have
succumbed to the watered down definition of marriage that has become normative
for western civilization, a view of marriage that is not a biblical view. And
as we approach this topic in any conversation we as believers need to make sure
that we understand what marriage is.
Our authority is the Word of God and we are going to
start from that presupposition, as we always must do. But when we are talking
to unbelievers and rebellious believers they may say, "I don't care what
the Bible says, I don't care what God says; you Christians always go back to
the Bible, that doesn't mean anything to me". Well, what does mean
something to you? Let's talk about law; let's talk about history; let's talk
about these undergirding concepts that are really the foundation for a
conclusion, and see if this really works.
What I am trying to do in this series is shed a lot
more light than heat and help us as believers think about what the issues
really are, how we define them, and how we can use that to engage in
conversation with those who do not agree with us. We recognize that there are
those who don't agree with us and never will, and all they are going to do is
throw bombs at us. They are going to be involved in name calling, will say
extremely hateful and spiteful things to us, but we are to love our enemies, to
love those who persecute us, as the Scripture says. That doesn't mean that we
validate their views or validate their positions.
We need to understand also that as evangelical
Christians we stand with a pretty solid block of individuals that comprises
perhaps at least 20-million in the United States. There are probably another 20
to 30-million who may not hold to all nine points that Barner Research uses as
their criteria for defining an evangelical; perhaps they hold to four or five
of those. So we can enlarge that category to perhaps to 40 to 50-million Americans
who hold roughly to the authority of the Bible and to the fact that
homosexuality is a sin against God, and it is also a devastating sin in its
consequences toward society. This view has been coopted by the opposition in
caricaturing Christianity and the church. In fact, they have done such a
wonderful job in the Devil's world of propagandizing the younger generation
that the stand against homosexuality has come to be the defining characteristic
of what makes a Christian a Christian. None of us believe that. We believe that
the defining element is the love of God demonstrated through the Lord Jesus
Christ in His death on the cross. The defining element of Christianity is
understanding the grace of God to all who are sinners. And yet studies have indicated
that the minds of those under, let's say 30-35, have been radically impacted by
the world.
In a study by Dave Keneman and Gabe Lions (in a work
that they published on the basis of it) called Un-Christian: What a new generation thinks
about Christianity and why it matters one of the questions they were asked
in a poll was, what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think
of the word Christian? Over ninety per cent of young Americans answered that
anti-homosexual accurately describes present day Christians. That is the number
one thought that comes into their minds when asked that question. That is a
hurdle we have to overcome because that is exactly what characterizes the
younger generation. They have taken in all of the ideas, all of the views and
value systems of the modern relativistic culture and made it their own. So what
is reflected in that survey is how anti-Christian American culture has become.
It is not the culture of the nineties; it is not the culture of the eighties,
and it is one hundred and eighty degrees opposite the culture of the fifties
and the sixties. This is a radical shift.
One of the unfortunate realities that we see here is
that as Christians we are automatically pigeonholed. As soon as somebody finds out
you are a Christian you are automatically labelled a bigot, anti-gay,
anti-homosexual, and we have to understand how to deal with that. Because of
this level of hostility in the culture there are basically three responses from
the Christian community as to how to handle that. The first is just to leave it
alone; don't talk about it. If you don't talk about it, maybe it will go away.
If you keep talking about it, it is just going to reinforce this caricature
that the world has of us, that the primary thing that defines us is an
anti-homosexual stance. The more we discuss it the more it will be defeated and
the more it will be a distraction to the gospel. And there are a number of
people (a minority) among the Christian leadership who have taken that position.
This is often a position found among young pastors in their dealings with
teenagers. The teenage community has been so brainwashed by pro-gay,
pro-same-sex propaganda that any time the subject is brought up, well you are
just gay bashing. You are unloving, hateful, and this is the automatic
response.
A second response is, just give in to it. Just accept
that this is the way the culture is going so just accept it, after all what
difference does it make? If we accept same-sex marriage it is not really going
to change anything, who cares what is going on in the bedroom? I agree with
that to a certain extent. Who cares what is going on in the privacy of
somebody's life at home? Well, we have to understand that there is a difference
between not making an issue out of things like that (what goes on in the
privacy of the bedroom) and understanding that maybe by taking this to the
extent that we validate it with such a term as marriage we are doing something
that is self-destructive. It is not by emphasizing that marriage is for
heterosexual monogamous unions only. By stating that it is not being
anti-homosexual, it is stating a positive and not stating a negative.
The third response is to answer it: that is really
does matter; that this is not a frivolous debate, not simply a debate that is
taking away certain rights or dignity from people. If you understand the
Declaration of Independence and the Bible properly you can't take dignity away
from anyone. That is why Clarence Thomas in his dissenting opinion—for
which he has caught a lot of flak from people in the black community—says
that even slaves when they were being abused had dignity. He understands that
dignity biblically is grounded in the fact that each one of us is created in
the image and likeness of God. We have dignity inherent to us, and it is not
based on how people treat us. We never lose our dignity because it is not a
secondary aspect. It is inherent to our makeup as image bearers of the Lord
Jesus Christ. It matters because this particular decision and its social impact
is more than likely the greatest revolution since Jesus Christ; it is the
greatest social revolution in history. No nation or empire has ever sanctioned
homosexual activity as marriage. It has never happened. So much is at stake in
this whole debate and we have to understand that not talking about it isn't an
option.
The only option is that we need to know how to answer
it, and (2 Peter 3:16) we need to answer it in love and kindness; we need to
answer it in a way that glorifies and honors the Lord Jesus Christ. The
greatest threat to Christianity isn't, I think, same-sex marriage. It isn't
from the Supreme Court or progressives in either party. The greatest threat is
Christians who aren't willing to grow to spiritual maturity, Christians who are
going to look at these circumstances as an excuse to give in to despair and
discouragement, and Christians who are going to use this as an excuse to go
further underground because they just don't want to be a target. I think we
have to honor those men who signed the Declaration of Independence. They
pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor in order to bring
liberties to the colonies. They were willing to give everything. And if this
generation of Americans is not willing to do the same thing then we not only
dishonor the signing of the Declaration, we dishonor every one of our
forefathers who put on a uniform to fight to preserve the liberties of this
nation. And we dishonor ourselves. There is something worth fighting and dying
and losing everything we have for, and that is the truth of God's Word. And I
am saddened when I read of Christians who are county clerks, who rather than
fight have given up their jobs. That doesn't win anything.
I know it is hard; I know it is terrible; I know that
the people who are fighting receive hate mail and threats on their lives, and
that the financial cost is such that they will lose their fortunes in fighting
for what is right. But the issue before us in terms of our personal character is
that if we are not willing to fight for what is right, what are we willing to
fight for. Is it personal security and comfort? That was an indictment that
Frances Schaeffer brought to the American people back around 1977 in his book, How Should We
Then Live? He predicted that American culture was such that people were
going to become so mired in the pursuit of personal security and happiness that
they would be willing to give up everything just to maintain the illusion that
they were secure and they were happy. That is coming true before our very eyes.
So we have to answer this question: What is marriage
and why should marriage be restricted to one man and one woman? That is the
ultimate issue. For Christians we need to understand this biblically. When we
are talking to non-Christians we need to recognize that there have been put
forth over the centuries dozens and dozens of reasons why marriage should be
between one man and one woman. That is, I believe, a residual of the impact of
the Word of God on culture. This has always been recognized and same-sex
marriage has never been recognized.
One of the implications of this decision is that we
are going to challenge all definitions of marriage. We are going to challenge
it in terms of polygamy and in terms of polyandry. As one writer facetiously
said, we may see polyandry legalized before the word is actually recognized in
Spell-Check in Microsoft Word. A case in Montana was filed on Friday where a
man with two wives (a former Mormon)—one marriage was civil, the other
religious. So they are already pushing polygamy. There have been a number of
articles published in different periodicals and journals over the past decade
pushing for the legalization of polygamy, and not only that but for
paedophilia. So this is what we see coming up. Once you start changing a
time-honored definition you start having problems.
We have to look at this from a biblical viewpoint.
Here's the question: Is there an inherent and essential nature to marriage
which excludes all other consensual unions between adults? To put it another
way, if marriage is only a way that the government acknowledges feelings of
love and affection between people (this is the way the definition of marriage
has been eroded over the years. We think of it as simply a way in which two
people who love each other can be joined together legally. We have so minimized
the definition of marriage that now we can apply it to anything) then
preventing people from marrying would be discrimination, similar to racism, religious
bigotry and persecution. But if marriage is something more, then to dilute it
or reduce its significance to only love and affection will have dire
consequences on a society.
There are many ways in which a society discriminates. We
have a society that states that discrimination is wrong. There was a Democrat
who said not long ago that we need to outlaw all discrimination. You can't do
that. To open your mouth to use any noun discriminates. If you say dog you have
just discriminated against all cats! If you use the word man you have
discriminated against all women. Any noun isolates one thing from other things.
So there are different ways we discriminate. Mad at mothers against drunk
driving excludes fathers, by definition. Senior discounts also discriminate
against anyone younger. Discrimination is typical with marriage. We have laws
that say that you can't get married until you are of a certain age. We
discriminate at the voting booth and say you can't vote until you are eighteen
years of age. So there are forms of discrimination based on essential qualities
that do not demean or trivialize or insult someone. But arbitrary
discrimination based on things such as race, Jim Crow laws, other things of
that nature are indeed to be prohibited and proscribed.
But what we are talking about in terms of marriage
means that we have to understand what marriage is and what its purpose is.
There are two answers that we can give, one is from the Bible; the other is
from law and practice. Many non-Christian culture and governments for thousands
of years have recognized that marriage between one man and one woman. This can
be affirmed without making homosexuals the object of scorn and ridicule and
derision.
A quote from Sean McDowell, the son of Josh MacDowell,
called Same-sex
Marriage, a Thoughtful response:
They say Christians who fail to
think about key cultural issues never rise above infectious confusion or
unprofitable anger. A church that hides from cultural conflicts and chooses to do
nothing will become culturally captive and will effectively abandon people to
be victims of bad ideas. Love of God demands truth and the love of our neighbor
demands action.
Quotations from signers of the Declaration of
Independence:
Benjamin Rush:
Every
citizen of a republic must watch for the state as if its liberties depended
upon his vigilance alone. We must be watchful.
John Adams: The general principles upon which the fathers achieved
independence were the general principles of Christianity. Now I will avow that
I then
believe that those general principles of Christianity are as eternal and
immutable as the existence and attributes of God.
John Jay:
Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers and it is
the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation to
select and prefer Christians for their rulers.
In a Supreme Court ruling in 1882 the Court said: This is a
Christian nation.
It is based upon our thoughts, not that it is
regenerate but that its ideas came from the Old Testament and the New
Testament; it came from that Judeo-Christian heritage. From that heritage we
have three divine institutions. An institution is something that has an
absolute value. It is not something that is culturally derived but is something
that is built into the framework, the structure, the warp and woof of society
before the fall. Individual responsibility, marriage and family were the first
three. They were all instituted before the fall and they were designed to
promote productivity and to advance civilization. They are designed to provide
stability in a society so that as children are produced—one of the
purposes of marriage is to fulfil the divine mandate (still in effect) to be
fruitful and to multiply. That was stated in Genesis chapter one and restated
in the Noahic covenant in Genesis chapter nine. That purpose for the union
of man and woman stated in those two covenants clearly excludes homosexuality
because homosexual couples cannot be fruitful and multiply—and to provide
for the education for the next generation. And it is important to have input
from both men and women.
The next two divine institutions are government (the
establishment of the judiciary) and establishment of nations. And that came
after the flood, designed to restrain evil. What we are primarily focusing on
is marriage and family.
In Genesis 1:26-28 we see the original creation of
man. We need to note that we are as human beings created in the image and
likeness of God. This is what gives dignity to every human being and why we as
Christians especially need to treat every human being, wether we agree with
them or not, with a measure of dignity because every one of them is in the
image and likeness of God. When we get to Genesis chapter nine and the Noahic
covenant God establishes the principle of the death penalty and execution for
murderers. The reason for that is that a murderer has taken the life of an
image bearer. He has performed an act against God by killing someone who is in
the image and likeness of God. Because someone has been so divorced from
reality and has such loss of control that they have gone to that extent they
forfeit their life. So execution is not murder, which is what the critics say.
And God created them male and female. This is huge,
that every man and every woman is equally an image bearer. God created them
distinct, physiologically distinct so that one needs the other in order to
fulfil the mandate to be fruitful and multiply. So that just as their
physiological and biological features are complimentary, so too are their soul
features. So although there are numerous ways in which men and women are
similar there are numerous ways in which they are different. And we live in a
world today that for the last fifty years has drunk heavily from the fountain
that says that men and women are not different, except for a few body parts. If
there is even somebody who believes in an immaterial soul, they would say that
their souls are identical. Therefore men can do anything women can do; any
thing men can do women can do. But there are some things men don't do as well
as women.
Genesis 8:17; 9:1, 7 – the command to be fruitful
and multiply. When we look at that in terms of the purpose of marriage we see
that this purpose is to multiply and fill the earth. This reflects God's
initial creation activity as described in Genesis chapter one. After this I
believe there is a short time gap (between 1:1 and 1:2) God brought judgment
upon the earth so that the earth was without form and void. Void means it is
unfilled. So God began to give new form to the earth and to fill it with
creatures. Then He delegates to man the responsibility to continue the process,
and they are to multiply and fill the earth. This is a task that man alone
cannot do. In Genesis 2:18 God said that it is not good that man should be
alone and that He would make a helper comparable to him.
Never did God endorse or authorize polygamy. It was
only practised by Jacob among the patriarchs; it was practised by a few in
later periods in violation of the Mosaic Law by David and Solomon, but those
who are ignorant of Scripture often bring this up as something that the Bible
allows. God allowed it under permissive will but that was not His decreed will
which, as Jesus states, is to be between one man and one woman. In Matthew
chapter nineteen when the Pharisees came to Jesus they asked Him a question
about divorce. Jesus doesn't go to the Mosaic Law; He goes back to
creation.
Matt 19:4, 5 NASB "And
He answered and said, ÒHave you not read that He who created {them} from the
beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ÔFOR THIS
REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND
THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESHÕ?"
What Jesus is doing here is recognizing is recognizing
that you start with the standard, which is the pre-fall condition. That
establishes God's ultimate will and purpose. God made accommodation to the
sinfulness of man within the Mosaic Law but the standard is male and female,
one man and one woman. He concludes: Matthew
19:6 ÒSo they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined
together, let no man separate.Ó He holds a high standard of
marriage that is not determined by culture, by the situations that fall upon
corruption of marriage.
Four other factors that are part of the reason and
purpose for marriage: One is to regulate sexual desire. Sex was given for the
purpose of procreation, to multiply and fill the earth. Sex can be abused under
sin, it can lead to abuse of women in terms of sexual assault, it can lead to
abuse within marriage; but sex was given to regulate sexual activity for the purpose
of procreation. Second, it is given to provide proper balance and expression to
both the female nature and the make nature. It regulates and domesticates the
male nature. The husband settles down, focuses on caring for his wife and
providing for his children, and taking on the responsibilities of spiritual
leadership within the home. The man who is alone does not focus upon these
things. Third, marriage is designed to protect women from those who would seek
to take advantage of them, and it gives them a place and a role to utilize the
abilities and talents that God has given them within the home as they fulfil
the mandate to multiply and fill the earth, as they have a role and
responsibility to train and to teach their children. Fourth, within the structure
of the family marriage which has a male and a female provides input from both
for the child to have a full development.
What we see from these passages:
1.
Marriage is two human beings who become one in every
way possible. They are united together; the two become one flesh. That is a
term that doesn't just mean sexual union; it has to do with their soul union as
well.
2.
We see that
marriage is oriented towards procreation and filling the earth.
3.
Marriage comes
with an expectation of permanence. Jesus said: "What God has joined
together let no one separate." That provides a stable environment for
children so that they can grow up in a home where there is security and
stability, and this will enable them to be more properly oriented to reality and
to live better within society.
4.
From a biblical
perspective marriage is an institution created by God for all human beings, not
just Christians.
5.
Sin does not
negate marriage's original design. The corruption of Genesis chapter three
doesn't change the inherent purpose of marriage as given in Genesis one and
two.
6.
Last of all,
marriage between male and female is a picture of Christ and the church. God has
chosen that male-female union to be a picture that He uses to depict the
relationship of Jesus Christ to the church. If Christians go with the validity
of same-sex marriage they are blaspheming Jesus Christ, they are blaspheming
the church, and they are ripping out the heart of what the New Testament
teaches about the body of Christ as the bride of Christ. Ephesians 5:25 NASB
"Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." That love of
Christ for the church becomes a pattern and blueprint for the church all the
way back to Genesis chapter one. [26] "so that He might sanctify her,
having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] that He might
present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or
any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. [28] So [in the same
way] husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who
loves his own wife loves himself."
So any change in the definition of marriage has a
gross theological consequence. This is why this is important to teach, to
understand for a number of reasons. But we all need to understand it better so
that we can articulate to our families, our children, to those who ask us; but
we need to understand that just because this decision has come down, it hasn't
destroyed anything. The Lord is still on the throne. Our job is to represent
the Lord Jesus Christ.